piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
