jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Come see our sink grown plant.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
