Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
