im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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