My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
