I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
