Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
