i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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