i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
