What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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