Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
the liver wants what the liver wants
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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