hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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