Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
