wrigley field is MILF paradise
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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