Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize