Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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