oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
