New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
