I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
17 year olds will be the death of me.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
