Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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