So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
