one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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