I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
