I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
