bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
