Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize