dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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