i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
