My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
