i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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