Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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