tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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