Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
