Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
