Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I have post one night stand depression
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
