This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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