apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
