Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I puked a lego.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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