We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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