Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize