The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
