I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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