I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
