after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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