he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
