Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
4 words: hood of his car
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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