Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
