youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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