yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
