we made out on top of his cat.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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