I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you didnt know i had herpes?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
