Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
