yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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