I'm pants shitting drunk right now
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
