Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize