After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
