it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
