Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm like, not good at living.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
