and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
