Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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