Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Come see our sink grown plant.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
