Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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